The Agony of Sanity
by Sanorace
Summary: Although Rainbow Dash only lived through hell once, Pinkie was there in that basement every day. She saw those horrors from the other side, but the pain was no less real. There is only one pony who could possibly have a chance of helping Pinkie come to terms with her actions, the one who knows what it's like to be evil, Luna. (Cupcakes continuation)


After the gruesome events of Cupcakes, Pinkie Pie was sentenced to permanent banishment. What reason could Luna possibly have to visit the insane serial killer? Why does she continue to return to her in spite of the pain Pinkie inflicts upon her?

Many people have written stories about the aftermath of Cupcakes, a shock fic about Pinkie as a serial killer. Most of them are about Pinkie continuing her slaughter or Rainbow Dash's survival and the fallout of the mane six. No one ever thinks of the worst punishment Pinkie could face: the suffering that comes when sanity returns, because though Rainbow Dash only lived through hell once, Pinkie was there in that basement every day. She saw those horrors from the other side, but the pain was no less real. There is only one pony who could possibly have a chance of helping Pinkie come to terms with her actions, the one who knows what it's like to be evil, Luna.

* * *

"Isn't it pretty? I made it myself."

Luna gazed at the garland blankly. It made her heart stop.

"No Pinkie," she said softly. "It's not pretty."

She walked closer to the gruesome decoration strung between two trees and looked into the eyes of one of the dead rabbits that had been sewn together by their ears. A fly landed on its bloodied face. She turned to Pinkie who was tense with rage. Anyone else would have been scared, but Luna was not a normal pony. She walked towards Pinkie and looked at her kindly.

"Don't be sad. We can fix it."

Instantly Pinkie's face went blank. She stared at the garland for a long time without saying anything. Luna waited. In her head images of the past glowed brightly then disappeared. She was well aware what horrors the party pony had committed and what could happen in that unhinged mind of hers. Suddenly Pinkie tore down the garland and laughed awkwardly.

"You're right, I… I don't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry."

Pinkie put on a forced smile that made Luna wonder once again what Celestia had done to her. What punishment did her sister give in order to turn the excitedly sadistic pony into an ineffective unstable psychopath? To many, there would be no noticeable difference, but Luna could tell something had changed in Pinkie since she was arrested and it sure as hell wasn't guilt. Luna wrapped a leg around Pinkie's shoulder and let her cry. The mare Applejack had discovered in the basement of Sugar Cube Corner would never have thought to cry. She would have brushed off the dissenting opinion and gone on gleefully making her ghastly party decorations. She wondered, not for the first time, which version of Pinkie was less repulsive. Luna ruffled her lank mane and smiled.

"I need some logs to make a fire. Would you get them for me? I know how much you like fires. Try to be careful this time or it will get out of control."

Pinkie swallowed hard and nodded. Luna watched as she plodded slowly around the corner of the house. As soon as she was out of sight, Luna burst into tears. The pain of meeting someone so close to her past self was overwhelming at times. Though she had long ago made peace with herself, Luna was still only a pony and it was moments like this that reminded her how lucky she was. She quickly dried her tears. Pinkie would be coming back soon. Her own emotions would have to wait.

Luna levitated the desecrated rabbits into the cabin's kitchen and started to clean them. The cabin was small originally, but Celestia had personally constructed two extra rooms for it. This was one of her 'banished to the moon' schemes. No one else knew that they were really in a lightly wooded area on the far end of the Everfree Forest, not even Pinkie.

When she was finished, Luna used magic to freeze the rabbit meat in time then left the house and deposited the scraps back where Pinkie had set up the garland originally. She placed a spell on them to keep away animals and block the smell. Carefully, Luna collected all the bloodied rocks and dirt so the area was clean again. She could almost convince herself that the rabbits hadn't been there at all. She trotted behind the house and found Pinkie idly snapping sticks on the woodpile.

"Kindling?" said Luna.

"What did you call me?" Pinkie asked testily.

"Not you. Kindling is what you call the small twigs used to start a fire. I'm glad you're here to build it. I've almost forgotten how to do it without magic. It's one of those things that I never thought I would need anymore."

"What do you mean 'anymore'?"

"Come with me. I'll tell you about it while you get the fire ready."

Luna lifted some of the logs onto Pinkie's back and grabbed the rest in her magic.

"Would you like to use the stove or the campfire?" asked Luna nonchalantly as if the hideous decorative carcasses had meant nothing.

"Um, maybe the campfire?"

"Of course, it's fun to do things slowly sometimes. Am I right?"

Pinkie paused and stared at her hooves. "Yeah, being quiet can be fun too," she muttered. "I… maybe I should try doing that more often."

Luna instantly ran the words through her mind seeking out hidden meanings. All she could find was her own suspicions about Celestia and memories of her past. Perhaps it was best that she didn't know what Pinkie was thinking.

"If that's what you want to try out, then I'd like to join you," said Luna encouragingly. "Ever since I returned from exile, my world has become so stressful. My power has been restored to me, but there are times when I wish it was gone."

"You mean you don't like being a super powerful alicorn?" Pinkie asked, some of her trademark excitement shining through. "How could anyone not want to live in a castle?"

Luna decided not to answer. Instead she poked her nose into Pinkie's mane for a split second.

"Hey, stop that!" Pinkie shouted.

Luna giggled. "Do you want me to show you what I did with your garland? You were going to throw it away but I couldn't just let something valuable be tossed out."

Pinkie's eyes glossed over for a second. There was fear in her expression, but Luna could see something more, something she had seen in her own reflection too many times. She stirred the fire so it would form proper coals in time and waited. It wasn't long before Pinkie nodded hesitantly. Luna headed towards the cabin, but Pinkie walked in another direction.

"It's this way, Pinkie. I had to move it."

Luna trotted into the kitchen. She had assumed Pinkie would follow her, but she didn't come through the door. Luna shrugged it off. It wasn't worth worrying about when there were so many other things to occupy her thoughts. She brought the meat outside along with a metal grate to roast them on and started cooking. Pinkie wasn't there. The absence of the party pony was more unsettling to Luna than her presence. It always troubled her to think of what she might find if she went looking for her. Luna took a deep breath, put her hoof to her chest, and let out the air slowly. She imagined her fears floating away as her hoof extended. She didn't know Cadence very well, but Luna cherished that movement she taught her.

Perhaps Pinkie was drawn to the scent of food or maybe she had just gotten lonely, but nonetheless she returned to sit beside the fire. Luna didn't say anything. She simply turned one of the pieces of roasted meat and tried to think about herself. It was so easy for her to get drawn into Pinkie's world. She had to stay grounded at least until she had a chance to go see her sister again.

"What did you mean when you said you had forgotten how to build fires?"

Luna sighed and wondered how much she should tell Pinkie.

"When I was exiled, I had no magic. I had to learn to do things like an earth pony. Even the simplest tasks became insurmountable challenges. Believe you me, learning to write with my mouth was impossibly difficult, but slowly I got better at it. The first letter I wrote to Tia was nigh indecipherable."

Luna chuckled at the embarrassing memory. She lifted the cooked rabbits off the fire, packed them in containers, and smothered the coals.

"You sent letters to Princess Celestia?" Pinkie asked cheerfully.

Luna started down a path that led deeper into the forest. She kept on talking so as to give Pinkie an incentive to follow her this time.

"Not at first, but as time went on, I decided that she was an important friend, someone I wanted in my life. I chose to bring her into my world through those letters and some of the happiness I had lost came back to me. Those memories of good times helped to remind me that I was once loved. I was happy back then so I decided to start again. I went somewhere new."

She glanced at Pinkie Pie. She had stopped listening a while back. The path rounded a bend in the rocks, revealing a cave in the mountain.

"This is where Manny lives," explained Luna. "You might recognize him."

Luna called out and from the cave emerged a terrifying beast that made Pinkie shiver. It was the manticore they had met so long ago, the one Fluttershy had helped, but this time the kindly pegasus wasn't there.

"Luh-na!" bellowed Manny as he bounded towards them. "Diggest haffy! I loth yah! Snell fud. Is fud nine? Is fud gift? I gith fud snall uh-th gift. Yes? Luh-na glad see Nanny, yes?"

Luna glanced at Pinkie's confused face and chuckled.

"Yes, it is nice to see you again, Manny."

"Yah cun in nine hus, flease? Nine hus fretty. No dad things. See nine current gud things! Things glad fretty. Earlier I see in fuh-rest. Earlier I take in hus. Current I see things glad!"

"He's working on talking," Luna told Pinkie as they followed him into the cave. "Pronunciation is difficult when you have fangs, but he's come a long way. You don't have to speak any differently. He understands you. He simply has a hard time putting the words together and remembering them."

"Current I snart," the manticore said proudly.

Pinkie cocked her head to the side. "Okie dokie?"

"Say uh-kee duh-kee?"

"She means yes," said Luna. Then to Pinkie she explained, "I've never use that word so it's not one he recognizes."

"Luh-na fud nine? I need gith uh-kee duh-kee thing little of fud?"

"Her name is Pinkie Pie and no you don't have to share."

"Inky eye?"

"No, Inky is my sister," said Pinkie happily. "My name is Pinkie."

"Tinkie."

"Pinkie!"

"Thinkie…finky… nin- ninkie?"

"P's are hard to pronounce with fangs," Luna explained. "Most of the time he gets around tricky words by using synonyms, but names aren't like that. Is Tinky okay for now?"

"I guess it's not that bad," said Pinkie brightening up. "Yeah, I kind of like Tinky. It sounds like music!"

"Tinky gud thing?"

"Yes, Manny," Luna said. "Pinkie is a good thing."

Pinkie froze. A now regrettably familiar milky film covered her eyes. She looked at Luna with a mad but guilty expression on her face. Luna pretended not to notice. In her mind Pinkie was a good thing at the moment. She hadn't hurt her or disrespected her and as long as she continued to do so, Luna could forgive her in a way.

Oblivious to the change in atmosphere, Manny gave them a tour of his cave, happy to have guests to see his hard work. The manticore had done a surprisingly good job furnishing his home for a creature with clumsy paws and huge claws. Luna took the cooked meal out of her saddlebags and placed it on what was surely a table.

"Eat up," she said happily. "It's a gift for you that Pinkie and I cooked together. Pinkie even caught the rabbits by herself."

The manticore looked at Pinkie incredulously and snorted.

"Nah, Tinky little. Raddit fast. Haw Tinky take raddit?

"I don't know. How did you catch the rabbits, Pinkie?"

"I uh… It's a secret."

The manticore laughed and skewered a piece of meat with a claw.

"I like Tinky. Yah gud secret yes? Yah like little fud gift? Share?"

Pinkie took the piece of meat out of the manticore's paw and stared at it blankly. Seeing the results of what she had done so openly appreciated must have been strange to her. Luna had felt the same way when she found out about night clubs and astronomy. Those things hadn't existed before her banishment. It was so awkward at first as if those ponies were invading her night.

Pinkie looked over at the princess with thinly veiled confusion. Luna smiled and took the rabbit out of her hoofs.

"I'm sorry Pinkie, but you know how you get when you eat meat. It might taste good now but you'll regret it later when you have a stomach ache. It's okay, Manny. You didn't know. Pinkie ate some meat once and got really sick and cranky. If you ever see her that way, then she's probably been sneaking it while I'm not looking."

Manny shrugged. "I see right, extra fud nine!" he said as he gleefully flipped the meat into his mouth.

* * *

There will be more chapters. Please review. It makes me feel validated in my existence.


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